School, Work, these fickle careers; we get all caught up in them
and oh money, it's all about the money. Why does it put your happiness at stake?
Why can't we all love in-conditionally, why can't we relive highschool, where we snuck around
we knew it was bad but we had so much fun doing it
I'm speaking indirectly. Not completely directed towards me. God knows I have had my fun.
I miss being careless and free. Where love and only love can lift you up and bring you down.
What is it with family and financial problems.
Remember when you lived at home and you just wanted to pack up and leave?
Well, I did that, I don't even live home anymore, i'm in a crappy apartment in orlando and I want to pack up and leave. I'm sick of feeling alone. Work tomorrow at 11am, I work with people who enjoy orlando, how great is that? I just want to get out, maybe it's just Florida all together? I've done all the running I can take.
2 comments:
No, I totally agree with you Sherye. It's so easy to get caught up in all of this, and many times I may be too hard on myself for not applying myself as much as I should. But, maybe it's this subconscious dilemma, that I am not ready for this and I just want to be free, to be loved and to love. It feels like so much excitement in my life has just up and left me. I remember when everything was so new to my eyes... the walk to Cypress Bay, the finding of new music, the thrill of DRIVING. and all that has just washed away in a wave of adulthood. I don't know what to do, but I do know that you have to find happiness within yourself and that when you run away, you are only running away from yourself, and that act is futile.
Yeah I just keep running and my idea of home is gone, and I feel like im just searching for it, it reminds me of a quote from Garden State:
" You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place. "
and i never understood that quote until now.
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